So far you've tried to do the 'right' thing, to be the 'good' guy. Thus far, your spiritual journey has been that of tired cliches, platitudes, and rhetoric where you've done little more than create an elaborate mask to cover your true will; a bandaid that has done nothing more than keep the infection of denial in.
Yet you still have questions, you're dissatified, and you don't know why; there is a hole within you. A place you have not looked, a place filled with unacknowledged longings and passions. A place you have avoided out of ignorance or design.
It's a place of Darkness.
This Darkness makes you tingle in fear and anticipation, it calls to you, your secret heart....
But you're lost in it aren't you? Overwhelmed, scared of what you are feeling, scared of the fire within you. Or maybe you just feel helpless in its presence, unable to confront it. Pehaps life just isn't what you wanted it to be?
At some point you started letting people or circumstances dictate that you shouldn't feel a certain way, or that you shouldn't like this, or that, or that you didn't deserve all the things you wanted. Maybe you've simply been telling yourself that.
Well, it's up to you to make the choice to change things, here and now!
We can't make it for you nor would we bother; like anything worth having you must make the decision to seize it for yourself. Do you want to empower yourself as an individual? To make something of your life? To reach your fullest potential? To understand and explore your emotions so that they work for you instead of against you?
It is only on your own that you can become anything. Here, you rise or fall by your hand alone. No amount of information, knowledge, or 'happy thoughts' can do it for you. There is no salvation, no progression, no enlightenment beyond that which you make for yourself. The time for prayer and well wishing is done, now is the call to action. It is a long, hard road to the self, to revealing and fufilling your true will, and there will be no guarentee of success. You will be questioned, confronted, and broken.
If you can persevere, you will rebuild yourself. You will come to know and accept your emotions, you will learn that self discipline does not mean self denial and that you are entitled to your passions, and will be given the tools and methods to see them realized. You will find out exactly how much there is to you as an individual, how much you have hidden in the Darkness, and bring it out in all its glory. You will learn to choose who you will be. That in the end, you alone are responsible for what you do, who you become, and how that power/responsibility extends into your field of influence. You will learn to face life without the armor of fear. To lay yourself bare to your own eyes and others and feel no shame or trepidition at the exposure; in fact, you will come to welcome it.
However, we are selective in our membership and who we guide. As the nature of our work begs intensity and passion, it also requires a high level of independent effort. Be ruthless, be proactive and take the initiative. But, do not expect to just walk in greeted with open arms by those of the Dark Aspect; that is not our way. Our door can only be opened by a strong and persistent arm and by showing a true commitment to yourself through your actions. Anything less than that and you are just wasting your time and will never step beyond the wanting stage to self- actualization.
All we really offer is the chance for you to know yourself, to work to marry your passion and reason and unlock all that you are... Or not...
As always, the choice is yours...-Khaos-